van·i·ty (n.)

according to the etymology dictionary

“that which is vain, futile, or worthless,” from Old French vanité “self-conceit; futility; lack of resolve” (12c.), from Latin vanitatem (nominative vanitas) “emptiness, aimlessness; falsity,” figuratively “vainglory, foolish pride,” from vanus “empty, void,” figuratively “idle, fruitless,”

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i am human, and i am vain.

vanity used to mask my insecurities.

vanity used to mask my soul—lost, aimless, idle.

vanity masked with aesthetic.

vanity masked with art.

vanity masked with words.

i am human, and i am vain.

vanity masked with what we call love?

is that why i want to love and be loved by an artist—someone who paints and writes words for the soul; someone to show me reflections of myself, a part of me i do not see, another perspective, in vain? to experience as much soul of another’s as i could. to exist in other mediums, in sketches and in poetry, proof that i am seen, proof that i am fluid, proof that yes! i exist, beyond the thoughts of my own mind.

i am human, and i am vain.

to cover the empty void inside of me.

to find love in a muse: someone who lets me feel, someone who wants to see what i see, found in the background of my ink and paper.

he thinks, therefore i am.

i think, therefore he is.

i am human, and i am vain.

– k.t.